Ten proposal mistakes to avoid
Everyone makes mistakes but isn't it better to avoid them before making those mistakes? There is no such thing as too much preparation and practice when it comes to major life milestones like your marriage proposal. In this article, Dunkin’s Diamonds will share with you common mistakes that proposers make that could potentially negatively impact your moment in some way.
Mistake #1: Completely unexpected and “too soon” proposals.
Making the proposal a completely unexpected surprise is something that we think you should avoid. If your partner has no idea that the idea of marriage was even on the table anytime soon, then randomly proposing might result in them nervously saying “no”. You and your partner should have at least considered what it would be like to get married and how your life together would go hand-in-hand. Once you and your partner have talked it over you can plan to surprise them with the proposal. This sounds hypocritical, but what we mean is that the surprise shouldn't be the idea of getting married, but the way you propose. In other words, you can make the proposal surprising and unexpected after she already knows the big day is on the horizon.
We all have those fantasy dream marriages in our minds, especially at a young age.
Mistake #2: Ignoring your partner's wishes
Sometimes our “brilliant” proposal ideas and concepts cloud our minds and result in a proposal that is all about you instead of you both as a couple. When proposing, be sure to have a gauge of what your partner wants for their proposal. Do they want an open and public proposal where people are going to clap and watch? Or do they want a quiet, secluded, and more romantic approach to the proposal? Do your research! It's a big mistake to just guess and assume that they will like what you want for your proposal. The proposal is about both of you and your bond together; find a way to merge your favorite things into one idea that both of you will remember forever.
“The goal of marriage is not to think alike, but to think together” - a quote by Robert C Dodds
Mistake #3: Proposing without a ring!
We shouldn't have to put this mistake on the list because it's a given. Buy a ring! We have so many budget options for you to pick from at our online store and at our locations across Florida and Ohio. When you get down on one knee, they always expect to see a brilliant sparkling diamond staring back at them. Oh, and your face smiling at them as well. And before you argue and say, “love shouldn't need a fancy ring, it goes beyond the materialistic world”, we already know that’s true, love does indeed go beyond fancy cosmetics. But think of it this way, imagine not getting any presents on your birthday, that would be disappointing. Your partner expects a ring, so not showing one to her when you are on one knee will be an aversion that you don't need. Disappointment can ruin a moment so make sure to have something in that black square box. And yes, even if it's a candy ring pop.
Mistake #4: Poorly timed proposals
If your partner is going through something difficult in their life outside of your romantic relationship, it's probably a safe bet to postpone that proposal date. Unfortunately, life throws many obstacles our way. Let's say you have planned for a specific day, and everything is in motion and she had a death in the family, it might be smart to just reschedule. Most venues and people involved with your proposal will understand and will even be sure to help you get everything figured out.
Aside, from unfortunate circumstances outside of your relationship, you can also propose at the wrong moment or wrong day. When you propose, make sure you're picking a day that both of you find meaningful, as it will be labeled as your “engagement day” for the rest of your life. Make sure the planned date isn't the same day that her dog passed away last year. Additionally, try and avoid pairing the proposal with a holiday or event that will overshadow your engagement. Of course, speak with your significant other to see what they prefer. On top of picking the wrong day, you can also pick the wrong moment, sometimes certain times of the day just don't work well for your partner. For example, if he is not a morning person don’t propose at the crack of dawn.
Mistake #5: Preparing a lengthy speech
The precious moment when you finally get down on one knee and present the ring is something you will have forever in your memories. Please don’t ruin it by presenting a 5-10 min backbreaking speech about how much you love your future spouse. After all the more time you give them to think the more likely they are to say “no”. All jokes aside you probably shouldn't formulate a lecture for your marriage proposal. The fact that you got down on one knee says enough already, trust us. It's truthfully a mistake to make your proposal speech over 2 minutes long. This is because the original high and excitement of the proposal will usually fade during these precious initial moments. By making your speech short and sweet you can embrace your partner faster and share the moment as a newly engaged couple. Awkward silences and weird lulls in the moment make the proposal less extravagant. Think of it this way, the act alone of proposing is so magical and meaningful, that adding a lengthy speech to it is overkill and redundant. Savor the moment with a few sentences maybe a minute tops and then enjoy your life together. You can plan your fancy speech for when you exchange vows at the wedding. Plus, I bet your partner is salivating over the ring, end their suffering and put that diamond ring on their finger!
Mistake #6: Acting sus
We all know you are probably nervous, as the moment to propose is right around the corner but remain calm. Our significant others, of all people in this world, know when something is up as they know you better than anyone else. Giving any hint that you are hiding something might come back to bite you. The best thing to do is to be yourself and know that it will work out fine. If you act like you are hiding something your partner might get the wrong idea or catch on to your plan to propose.
Mistake #7 Letting others cloud your judgment
There are a lot of different people in the world and an equally large number of different ways to propose. When planning your proposal don’t let the judgment of others dissuade you. You of all people know your partner the best, and thus know exactly how to propose. Of course, you should still listen to other people's opinions and ideas, but don’t let them put your own ideas down. You may have a wild and out-of-this-world idea that your heart is set on, so go for it! This is one of the few times in your life that you can do something truly exceptional and unique. If you need any extra inspiration to get your ideas flowing check out our other proposal guide articles here.
Mistake #8 Cheaping out on good photography
Your proposal is going to be one of the most gorgeous and picturesque moments in your life; don’t get lazy and forget to stage a photographer. Having videos and/or photos of the precious proposal is something that all couples should cherish. Imagine having documentation of your proposal that you can one day show your kids or even grandchildren. It's a mistake to cheap out and not record the moment because it's something that you will most likely never experience again. (Unless you remarry or propose again for fun that is). Asking a family friend to record the moment for you while hiding in a bush is not difficult to do. All that you have to do is ask and most likely someone will be more than happy to record the moment.
But what if your partner wants a completely private proposal? Well, the answer here is simple as well. If you don’t want other people involved in the photography process, you can simply set up a hidden camera in the private location you're going to propose. This way your partner can have their private romantic proposal and still have footage to look back on if they wish. Additionally, parents love having footage of their child's proposal, so do it for them as well.
Mistake #9: Not asking for their hand in marriage
Some families are super traditional when it comes to relationships and marriages. Therefore, you might have a partner whose family expects you to ask them for permission to marry beforehand. This isn't normally a big mistake because it depends on the values and traditions of your partner's family. But do know that not asking for their hand in marriage has the potential to backfire. Thus, play it safe and ask their closest relative for permission. If they say no, then you can still find a way to marry them, love has no bounds. It's just that asking for permission is polite and goes a long way.
Mistake #10: Picking a random location
Your marriage proposal should not be spontaneous, so don’t spontaneously pick a location. It's a mistake to underestimate the importance of taking time to pick a meaningful location to propose. Some proposers don’t see the power in picking good scenery. Well-thought-out locations make the moment and your proposal photos more magical. Plus, proposals are a big surprise to the person that is getting proposed to so use the location to your advantage. Pick someplace wonderful that adds to the surprise of the moment. If she isn't a beach girl don’t propose at the beach, think about a place that both of you value equally instead. If you need some advice on where to stage your proposal, check out our other proposal guides where we talk about many different places you can propose at.
Mistakes happen so don’t stress
There are probably many more mistakes that you could possibly make during the proposal, but that's the fun of it. The proposal is something that will cause loads of butterflies to erupt in your stomach, so it's natural if you slip up a little. This article was designed to help you settle your concerns and maybe prevent a disaster that will most likely not occur anyway. So, when you get out there and pop the question know that Dunkin’s Diamonds is that little angel on your shoulder saying, “don’t mess this up” and “you got this”.